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| During the late winter early spring '99 my sister happened to mention that she would like a fence around her garden to give her some privacy from her neighbours, well I said that it shouldn't be too difficult to put up a fence so guess who got the job? Her husband and me! Now my sister being the kind of person she is it wasn't too long before a passing wish became a full job description - it must look good, be able to stand up to third world war, give near total privacy and don't cause too much mess during 'building' work! My sister stipulated that if we started this project that it must be completed before the winter set in, she didn't want to have to overlook a building site indefinitely. You may get the impression that she'd got the measure of her 'grief force' team.
Above:- The Foreman and her trusty Dyson! Plans where duly argued into shape and a brief period of looking for the right materials was undertaken, it was all done with the meticulous precision that went into planning the Millennium Dome. It was decided that 8 feet by 4 inches square posts would be required to hold up good quality panels, the idea being that at least 2 feet of the posts would be concreted into the ground - we dismissed the idea of using hammer-in posts as being to amateuristic for a pair of hardened (?) workers that we were, also the fact that these hammer-in fixings rust badly enough whilst sitting on the shelves in the garden centres never mind sitting in the wet soil. Another little snag to this fencing building escapade was the fact that currently a small wall surrounded the garden, this would have to be reduced in height all way round and removed altogether in the places where the posts needed to go.
My sister ordered the first few bits we needed to start - Post fix and 4 fence posts which would give us a start at the end of the garden. We started eagerly just before the May day bank holiday by removing the sections of walling where the posts were going to be sited. This all went without a hitch, even though it took quite a lot of effort to break up and remove the concrete and the old gate posts, the new pressure treated posts where sited and fixed into position - the post fix worked like a charm, it set well enough to support the posts within 3 minutes. In the space of 5 hours most of the wall was gone and posts in position. Initially we'd decided to use feather edge board instead of ready made panels mainly because all the panels we'd found up to that time were either trash, cost a fortune or weighed an absolute ton and we doubted that 4 inches square posts could support such weight in the high winds which we get here. It was during a trip to Wickes to buy more posts that we came across some good quality panels for the bargain price of £20 each, however the posts they were selling felt damp and weighed far too much for their size which made us think they were sodden. We bought a couple of panels on the off chance that the site foreman (my sister) would approve - a tricky gamble but we were feeling confident! Eventually we found some really high quality pressure treated posts at B+Q, these where supposed to used for decking but the quality and price was right, plus the fact every other place we tried had nothing in the sizes we wanted. So following another weekend of fetching, digging, concreting and screwing (FIXING!!) we had our first panels in place and the foreman was chuffed to bits. This carried on for a couple more weekends along with ordering and filling a 6 and a 8 ton skip. By late spring the fence was done and plans where being made for the garden itself.
After much discussion and a video from Bradstone the foreman said she'd like a nice patio to replace the ugly cast concrete paving, a 'stone' circle and while you're at it a water feature would be nice especially if it makes a trickling noise! The paving and 'stone' circle where ordered from Homebase and we went looking for suitable pump for the water feature. As luck would have it we found a kit made by Hozelock that had the pump, liner and power supply for sale in B+Q. I suggested that it would look good to build the water feature into a large pot, the foreman had been wanting to involve a large coloured glazed pot into the scheme of things so that's what we did. A bag of Cotswold cobbles would provide the decorative touch to finish it off. That evening we sited the pot and dug out for the wiring that we would run inside some hose pipe for protection. The foreman was duly impressed by our efforts and treated us to a lovely meal out - she's the only foreman that's ever taken me out to dinner, that said she's the only female foreman I've worked for!
Above:- The water feature, flanked by a couple of mint plants - excellent for adding a touch of extra flavour to the spuds. This will have to be covered over for the winter or drained to prevent damage to the pump by freezing water.
The paving went down like a charm, I mixed the mortar while Carl laid the slabs. The foreman obviously impressed by our efforts decided to add to the original plan, "I'd really like some decking, it looks so nice...don't you think?" she said whilst we were all taking a leisurely stroll next to river in Bakewell. "Hmmm, it takes some looking after, you've got to treat it yearly and keep it algae free" I suggested. There was no putting her off, decking it was to be, the foreman had seen some a few weeks before in Homebase. Next on the agenda was the 'stone' circle, with the marking out complete and the ground prepared we were reminded about the spike for the rotary clothes dryer, no problem we'll just put it in the middle of the circle, "make sure it doesn't stick up above the circle" the foreman warned. Carl laid the slabs while I mixed, it went down fast an' easy, Carl was really into the swing of this paving thing.
The only fly in the ointment was the area inside the gate, this had to be lower than the rest of the garden to allow the gate to open. Carl worked on this and grouting the circle while I tackled the decking. We had bought 3 preformed squares of decking to fill in an area at the end of the garden next to the gate, working between us we laid simple brick and mortar foundations for the panels. With the the decking in place the garden was really taking place but the decking didn't look quite right. We decided what was needed was a fourth panel cut diagonally to make the decking in to a triangular shape and a piece of straight decking board to 'face it up'. This was duly done and the foreman was over the moon with the job - another dinner was forced upon us, it's a hard life, eh?
Following on from the decking was a couple of 'beds' for the foreman to plant with all manner of exotica, these were edged up with blue rope top edging and corner pins for effect. By now the foreman was simply itching to get planting, which she did after much "what do you think?" kind of questions to 'we' who wouldn't know a rose from a thistle. With this the foreman and Carl jetted off to Sorrento for a holiday - I suppose to get away from it all...and what about me you may well ask, well I was left behind to look after it all. Like I said it's a hard life, especially as the foreman has now started eyeing up bathroom suites and asking if I've got a blowlamp, maybe I should see about a holiday!
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